


Once Upon A Time

by ZippyZapmeister



Category: Love Live! School Idol Festival (Video Game), Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Light Smut, fallen angel AU, like literally - Freeform, you dont see their canon names for like 2 chapters its wild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2018-11-19 18:27:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11319105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZippyZapmeister/pseuds/ZippyZapmeister
Summary: Once upon a time, there was a couple in the heavens. They were regarded as the most gorgeous, loving pair in all of the land. That, plus one of them being considered stunningly gorgeous, made both of them quite popular. Their names were Yohane and Renjiro, and they were upheld by all the land...but they were cruelly torn apart.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I said i wasnt gonna do any more multi-chap fics but 2 chapters of this is written, i decided it was gonna be too long for a one-shot. it should be finished in 3 or 4 chapters total.

Once upon a time, there was a couple in the heavens. They were regarded as the most gorgeous, loving pair in all of the land. That, plus one of them being considered stunningly gorgeous, made both of them quite popular. Their names were Yohane and Renjiro, and they were upheld by all the land.

 

Renjiro was always asked if she felt jealous or in any way threatened by Yohane’s beauty, but her answer was the same every time: she could feel nothing but lucky that Yohane could ever love someone plain like her. Although Yohane’s ego could be strikingly large at times, she always made sure to correct anyone who dared to call her more beautiful or adequate than Renjiro. 

 

Of course, with such power came envy, as well. Some were content to just bask in the radiance of those two; others were overcome with anger. The gods themselves were examples of the latter. Although they didn’t pay much attention to Renjiro, it seemed like they were always finding some way to make Yohane’s life just a little bit worse. It worried Renjiro, how Yohane was always tripping over nothing or getting sick at the worst times or having her plans foiled by rain. Others surely noticed, but Yohane made it a point to never let it get her down. Every time she fell into the mud, she hopped right up and flapped the dirt off of her dark blue wings. Every time she got a fever, she took some medicine and rebounded with a smile on her face. Every time she saw clouds rolling in right before an outing, she grabbed an umbrella and hopped out anyway.

 

At first, Renjiro thought it was inspiring, how Yohane seemed to bounce back from every situation thrown at her. Then, things started getting worse. If she fell into the mud, she’d break a bone. If she got a fever, it would take endless nights of pain for it to go away. If the clouds rolled in, they would surely bring not only rain, but thunder, as well. It was like something from a cartoon, with one character being endlessly pummeled by ACME or having a storm cloud that followed just them around. However, it was far from funny. It was beginning to seem like Yohane was constantly getting the short end of the stick. Renjiro was willing to overlook minor inconveniences like accidentally getting bad sushi, but she drew the line when an elevator malfunctioned with Yohane on it.

 

“They’re trying to kill you,” Renjiro said, trying to convince her lover. Yohane had managed to get out with only an injured wrist, but that wasn’t the point. She wasn’t  _ supposed _ to. “You were the  _ only _ one on that elevator, Yohane. They want you dead.”

 

“If the gods wanted me dead, I’d be dead.”

 

“Then that was a warning!”

 

“It’s the price to pay for such beauty,” Yohane shot back. She was grinning like an idiot, but when she waved her hand dismissively, Renjiro saw her flinch. Yohane’s smile softened, and she took on a slightly more serious tone. “This’ll all blow over soon. I won’t let it get me down!”

 

Renjiro tried to smile back, but she felt nauseous. It was obvious that Yohane being so nonchalant about her misfortune was angering the gods even more, but how could she tell Yohane to abandon her chipper demeanor? What was she supposed to say? “Act sad”? “Cry more”? Renjiro didn’t know what to do, but she grew more and more frightened every day. She was afraid to leave Yohane’s side, because she didn’t know if Yohane would be there when she got back.

 

After that talk, things seemed to ease up. Yohane’s wrist healed fine (“See, Ren-chan? I told you you were overreacting!”), and she didn’t get in any serious accidents. Yohane was on top of her game, happy as ever. Renjiro was happy, too, but she still was afraid to let Yohane out of her sight; for some reason, it felt like the calm before the storm. It didn’t make sense for the gods to just up and quit. Yohane’s logic was that the gods probably thought, “If something like wrecking an entire elevator didn’t get rid of her, then nothing will”. For some reason, though, Renjiro could sense that both of them knew that that wasn’t the way of the gods. They both spent as much time together as possible, but a cloud of anxiety lingered over both of them.

 

Their worries came to fruition some weeks later, when a messenger angel appeared at their door early in the morning with a message from the gods. Both of them were surprised to grab the golden, glowing scroll, only to discover that the message was for Renjiro instead of Yohane. Along with confusion, they felt relief; after all, Renjiro was easily overlooked in terms of Yohane, even though they were a couple. It was doubtful that the gods would send something to Renjiro if they wanted something from Yohane.

 

That was what they thought.

 

“‘Angel Renjiro: This letter has been written to inform you that, in two days’ time, you will be banished from the land of Heaven. You will be forced to live your life as a human on Earth as punishment. Please take care of any last duties that you must perform and be ready to depart to Earth when our servants come for you.’” 

 

As the messenger finished reading the message, Renjiro felt her blood run cold. In fact, she felt numb. What was she supposed to feel? Anger? Sadness? What would it matter, anyway? She couldn’t even speak. Instead, Yohane piped up. Renjiro couldn’t even turn to look at her as she spoke; she stared past the messenger’s shoulder instead. “I don’t get this. Why are they doing this?! She didn’t hurt anyone!”

 

“Conspiracy against the gods is what they said,” the messenger said simply. “I’m sorry about this, but there’s nothing  _ I _ can do. You’ll have to approach the counsel if you’d like to challenge this.”

 

“Then that’s what we’ll do. Right, Renjiro? That’s what we’ll do.” Renjiro managed to lift her hand and close the door as the messenger walked away, but she couldn’t respond. She stared at the polished white wood of their door. The reality of the situation had already embedded itself in her brain, in those short, painful seconds. Life without Yohane. Life by herself. Yohane’s next words surprised her. “Renjiro, I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry that they’re doing this. This is my fault, and I-I really want to fix it. I-”

 

Renjiro turned around, but she still had the same blank stare on her face, her eyes fixed on the space above Yohane’s head. “I...I’m not angry at you.”

 

Yohane waited for Renjiro to say more, but she wasn’t sure what else to say. What  _ could _ she say? The gods obviously thought that taking her away would hurt Yohane more than banishing Yohane herself. But Renjiro couldn’t be angry. She didn’t have  _ time _ to be angry. Two days...

 

Renjiro forced herself to look at Yohane. She flexed her fingers, watching each tear roll down Yohane’s cheeks. She tried to soften her expression as she stepped forward, cupping Yohane’s chin in her hand. Softly, she kissed away every tear, able to feel Yohane’s trembling skin beneath her lips. After the last kiss, she kept her lips pressed against Yohane’s cheek and sighed a shaky sigh. “We don’t have time to think. I want you to have something to remember.”

 

“Don’t say that. Don’t give up yet,” Yohane said. Renjiro had never seen her like that, so close to falling apart.

 

“Yohane, there’s no chance I’ll stay. What if we try our hardest to keep me here, and waste what little time we have left with each other? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I would hate that.”

 

Yohane was obviously troubled, her expression concentrated and her eyes tear-brimmed. “I don’t know what I’ll do, Ren-chan. When you leave...I’ll really be lost. I might do something drastic.”

 

“Why would you say something like that?! Yohane, don’t,” Renjiro warned.

 

“But I didn’t say-”

 

“I know what you meant. Don’t think about that. I’m here, now, and I want to make it count.” Renjiro grabbed Yohane’s shoulders and slowly turned her so that her back was to the wall. Once Yohane was pressed against it, she seemed to get the gist of the situation, biting her lip. Renjiro was tired of speaking. Every second felt like a second wasted. There was so much she wanted to do, so many things that she wanted to say, but for that moment, all she could think about was feeling Yohane as much as she could.

 

Renjiro was removing and throwing Yohane’s clothes as fast as she could, only taking away what was necessary for the time being. She dropped to her knees and hooked a leg over her shoulder, then began what would no doubt be a long session of lovemaking, not daring to hold anything back. Never before had she been so immersed in Yohane, unable to feel anything else but love and lust in every part of her body.

 

Over and over Renjiro pushed Yohane over the edge, not stopping even when Yohane’s legs became weak with pleasure. She never got tired of seeing Yohane’s gorgeous navy wings tense and flutter. After what seemed like hours, she rose and picked Yohane up, staring at her blissed out expression for a few seconds before carrying her to their bedroom. She laid her on the bed and hovered over her, panting from her exertions. “Stop?” Renjiro asked, her nails digging into the sheets. Yohane could do nothing but whimper, and Renjiro didn’t make a move, just watching her chest rise and fall. Not looking away, Renjiro quickly stripped Yohane all of the way and then removed her own clothes, pulling the covers over both of them. Unsure if Yohane was even coherent enough to listen, she rambled, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do, Yohane. I just want to make this last. I want to make this good for you.”

 

Yohane whimpered again, this time rolling over to snuggle into Renjiro’s arm, patting Renjiro’s head reassuringly. There, she fell asleep, but Renjiro was unable to do anything but lay awake and stare into the ceiling.

 

Yohane slept for awhile; she woke up in the late evening, just as the sun was setting. They made love again, that time a bit less fervent and less one-sided. Afterwards, they lay comfortably exhausted in each other’s arms. Renjiro tried to forget, tried to push her impending doom out of her mind, but it was difficult. She was quickly reminded of the situation when Yohane murmured, “So, are we just going to fuck for two days straight?”

 

“If that’s what you want. Like I said, I want to make this good for you, so I’ll do whatever you want to do.”

 

“You said that?”

 

“Right before you passed out.”

 

“I-I didn’t pass out! I fell asleep...” Renjiro laughed, but it was a little forced. She prayed that Yohane couldn’t tell. “Why do you want to make this good for only me? You’re the one who’s...”

 

Renjiro’s heart began to pound. She didn’t want Yohane to panic again, didn’t want her to talk about doing reckless things. She had to stop Yohane from thinking about her leaving. “There’s a chance I won’t even remember my life up here.  _ You _ will.”

 

“You’ll probably remember. The gods are cruel like that. It would hurt more if you remembered me but couldn’t be with me, so they’d probably do something like that...right? But then again, they don’t want to hurt you, they want to hurt me...”

 

The thought had never crossed her mind, but it hurt to even think about it. Renjiro decided to change the subject. “It’s too late to go out today, really, but we can do something tomorrow. Anything in particular that you’d like to do?”

 

“I want to find a chocolate fountain. I’ve always wanted to go to one of those, and dip some strawberries in it.”

 

It was an oddly specific request, but not impossible. “There’s a dessert shop nearby, I think they have one. Anything else?”

 

“Mm...more sex?”

 

Renjiro chuckled. “Done.”

 

However, for the rest of that evening, they simply lounged around, pigged out on snacks, and watched movies. Yohane begged Renjiro to play some video games with her (unsurprisingly, Yohane won each time). Renjiro convinced Yohane to let her draw her naked, but the picture went unfinished when Yohane broke the pose with laughter. They soaked in the bathtub and then crawled into bed and talked until they fell asleep with their mouths open. The next morning, they rose early, and after a quick round of morning sex, they made breakfast and slept some more. Renjiro was used to giving herself a strict schedule, but it felt liberating to just do whatever whenever they wanted, even if it meant waking up just to fuck and eat and then go back to bed.

 

Once they woke up again, they went and found Yohane’s coveted chocolate fountain, then stuffed themselves with strawberries, marshmallows, and whatever else seemed to look good. The news had already spread throughout Heaven that Renjiro was going to be banished, and for once, she seemed to be the center of attention, coming second to even Yohane. They strolled through the park afterwards, and all around them, people were giving sad looks and asking Renjiro for a hug. She was greatly embarrassed, but she didn’t deny a single one. After the park, they went to visit friends, but never staying in one place too long; the atmosphere grew heavy rather quickly, even though everybody wanted to ignore the inevitable.

 

Finally, they arrived back at their apartment, still full of energy. It was almost dark by the time they got home, but they were hardly tired, even after all of their running around. Once again, they were under the blankets in their bed, making love for hours, until they finally flopped next to each other with exhaustion. It was midnight.

 

“They come early,” Yohane whispered suddenly, breaking their post-orgasm silence.

 

“Who? What are you talking about?”

 

“Servant angels start business early. Something important like this...they’ll probably start here.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Renjiro could hear the sleepy slur in Yohane’s voice as she spoke, but seconds after that, she heard a soft sob. “I’m sorry, Ren-chan. It’s all my fault. I’m the reason you’re leaving. I’d do anything to fix it, I really would. Promise you’re not angry. Promise you won’t hate me.”

 

“Of course I don’t hate you. Don’t you ever think that, okay? You make me feel love. You make me feel happiness. You give me what no one else can. I don’t hate you, and that’s a promise that’s as honest as honest can be.”

 

“Heaven will be so much darker when you leave.”

 

“You’ll find someone else,” Renjiro declared. It was a sore subject, she knew that, but she didn’t want Yohane to feel tied down when she wouldn’t even be there.

 

Yohane scoffed. “I won’t be able to. But if you find someone on Earth...”

 

“I won’t be able to,” Renjiro parroted, smiling. “Now, go to sleep.”

 

“Don’t leave without telling me,” Yohane said, her voice tinged with alarm.

 

“I wouldn’t dream of it. Say you love me, please?”

 

Yohane grinned sleepily, her eyes already shut. “Love you.”

 

Renjiro laid back, stroking Yohane’s hair as she drifted off. She laid there silently, trying to let her mind go blank. After about an hour, when the clock struck one, Renjiro slid away from Yohane’s grasp, pacing. Finally, she slipped a robe on and grabbed a pencil, then grabbed her abandoned drawing of Yohane. The pose was different, but she managed to finish up the drawing by looking at Yohane’s sleeping form. She cleaned it up as much as she could, then gently rested it on her pillow. Afterwards, she got ready, putting on a light pink skirt and a white, long-sleeved button-up blouse. Finally, she leaned over Yohane and kissed her on the forehead. “It hurts less this way,” she whispered, her voice cracking. She plucked a feather from her dark red wing and placed it on top of the pillow.

 

She closed the bedroom door and sat on the couch, taking in the apartment for the last time. For hours, she let her mind drift, until, at five-thirty AM, she heard steps approaching the door. Not wanting the knock to wake up Yohane, she stumbled over to the door and opened it just as the angel raised his hand to knock. He seemed a bit surprised by her, but unphased. “Hmph. Are you ready?”

 

“I...I suppose I have to be.” Renjiro smiled, trying to hold back her tears. The servant angel nodded, then motioned her to follow him. Renjiro closed the door behind her and locked it, clenching her key in her fist.

 

_ Please forget about me, Yohane. Forget about me and be happy. _


	2. Chapter 2

 

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful angel in the heavens. However, no matter where she went, a rather ugly cloud of hatred followed her. At first, people pitied her because of her sour demeanor, knowing the circumstances from which it came. Not long after, though, they grew tired of her bitterness and came to hate her. Jealousy and irritation joined to form a seemingly irreversible stigma against the angel. This angel was named Yohane, and she was the cruel entertainment of the gods.

 

Yohane had tried to make friends since Renjiro left. She had tried to move on, knowing that Renjiro would have wanted it. But how could she move on? How could she just forget, knowing that it was her fault that Renjiro was gone? Falling in love was just a work of fiction at that point. All of her nights were spent in agony, unable to see anything but Renjiro’s smiling face whenever she tried to shut her eyes.

 

And to think that Renjiro was  _ heartless _ enough to leave without telling her...

 

_ No. It’s not like that. She loved me...she  _ loves _ me. She didn’t want it to be too hard for either of us, _ Yohane thought, trying to convince herself. But she didn’t get to say goodbye, and it hurt. Then again, part of her knew that she wouldn’t have been able to let Renjiro go. Maybe that kind of harsh departure was best for the both of them. It made Yohane smile (something rare, in those days) when she thought about how Renjiro asked her to say that she loved her before she fell asleep.  _ She made those my last words to her...heh. I guess Ren-chan isn’t  _ too  _ dense. _

 

Yohane usually spent every waking moment with Renjiro, and she became lost without her. One night, weeks after Renjiro’s banishment, she decided to go to a club, unsure of what else to do with herself. The second she walked in, she felt like she was getting a headache from the flashing lights and loud electro music. Her wings tucked in self-consciously as everyone stared, some with confusion, some with envy, some with hatred; others just stared. She sat down at the counter and asked for a strawberry soda, trying not to comment on the bartender’s awkward gaze. She looked to her left and saw nobody, but to her right, a couple of seats down, was a pink-haired angel. Her hair was long, down to her waist. Yohane tore at the skin on the inside of her lip; that was the first person she had checked out without wanting to vomit. Granted, she felt a little disgusted by the thought, but...

 

_ Ah...she’s looking over here. _ Yohane actually started to feel nauseous when she saw the girl running her eyes up and down her body, watching closely. The girl’s wings flapped a little bit, and Yohane flapped back, unsure of how effective that method of communication was. The girl smirked, then downed her drink and moved to the seat next to Yohane. “Hey. So, you’re Yohane, huh?”

 

“Yup.” 

 

Yohane wasn’t sure what to say next, so she just scratched at a mark in the countertop. Finally, the bartender brought her drink, and the girl said, “I’m Yuri.”

 

“Nice to meet you,” Yohane said. Her voice was raw from crying and lack of use, but she tried to sound half-decent. “Do you come here often?”

 

“Yeah. I’ve never seen you around here before. You sure did turn heads when you walked in,” Yuri said, watching Yohane carefully as she nervously took a sip of her soda. She felt lame, all of a sudden, for ordering a soda, of all things. Yuri ordered another drink, something that sounded unbelievably fruity, but was no doubt alcoholic. Yohane chugged her soda and ordered the same thing, not to be outdone. 

 

Yuri seemed surprised, ready to say something, but Yohane just said, “A lot of people know me. Or, of me, at least.”

 

“You’re the most beautiful angel...that’s what I’ve heard.” Yohane just clicked her tongue, and Yuri continued, “Hmph. They didn’t lie.”

 

“Is that so...?” Yohane felt bile rising up in her throat. It was obvious what Yuri was looking for. In her heart of hearts, Yohane knew she was looking for the same thing, but part of her didn’t think she could go through with it. She bit her tongue and half-tuned into Yuri chatting her up some more, throwing in a compliment here and there herself. Their drinks came, and even though it burned her chest, Yohane threw back glass after glass after glass, becoming more chattery after each gulp. She was loosening up, but she still felt like she was hanging on by a thread, and she wasn’t sure what would happen when it broke. 

 

“Hey,” Yuri said. She was close to Yohane, so close that Yohane could smell the liquor on her breath. Too close. Yohane almost pushed her away, but she knew that wouldn’t be fair. “Wanna get a room in the back?”

 

Yohane almost said “they have those?” but just nodded dumbly, taking Yuri’s hand. It was all a blur as they stumbled back, and Yohane felt like she was bound to pass out any second, but at the same time, her heart was racing and she felt like she was floating. Yuri shut the door behind her once they got in, and Yohane didn’t have a chance to look around before Yuri shoved her onto the couch, straddling her. Their lips clashed, and Yohane’s eyes opened wide as Yuri’s closed. No pretense. No words. Yohane supposed that that kind of thing should be obvious without words. Yuri had been eye-fucking her all night. However, seeing that unbridled lust, that quick jump from talking about the news to fucking, was all-too real for Yohane.

 

Within seconds, Yuri’s hands were everywhere, sliding up Yohane’s top, grabbing her through her bra, fiddling with her bra strap. Her mouth was on her neck by that time, and Yohane dully turned her head, granting Yuri access to her skin, but  _ gods above _ it felt dirty. Yuri was all over her, and it felt disgustingly filthy and forbidden, like her skin was being tainted with every touch. Yohane closed her eyes, slipped away for a moment, tried to will herself to be boneless and numb, but she still felt Yuri’s hands burning her skin...and not in the way Renjiro made her burn.

 

“Stop,” Yohane whispered. Yuri ignored her, kept going, so Yohane clenched her fists at her side and screamed at the top of her lungs, “I said,  _ stop _ it! Get off of me!”

 

“What the fuck is your problem?”

 

“Get off,” Yohane said, more firmly that time. Yuri climbed off without hesitation, a snarl on her face. 

 

“Jeez. People told me that you were pretty fucked in the head, but you’ve really got some issues,” she said. She stormed out, leaving Yohane sitting on the couch. Slowly, she raised two fingers to her neck, closing her eyes. She pressed her fingers to her pulse point, and was able to feel the warmth where Yuri’s mouth had been. It felt like the thread that she had been hanging off of suddenly broke.

 

She dashed out of the club and took flight, trying not to blur her vision with tears as she flew back to her and Renjiro’s apartment. The second she got in, she took off all of her clothes, turning the water on as hot as it would go. Grabbing soap and a cloth, Yohane began to scrub herself, trembling with guilt. She still felt filthy, but no matter how raw she rubbed herself, it wouldn’t go away. Distraught, she turned the shower off and dried herself before stumbling to the bed and dug her nails into the sheets, burying her face into the pillow and screaming until her throat was raw. Afterwards, she simply laid there, weeping until she finally fell asleep.

 

When she woke up the next day, she found herself feeling unclean again, but she decided not to scrub her skin like yesterday; just thinking about the pink tint she gave herself made her cringe. After a quick shower, she got dressed and left out, unable to sit in the apartment any longer. Part of her felt hungry, but going into the kitchen again and thinking of all the times Renjiro had tried to teach her how to boil an egg “just right” was painful. There were too many things there that screamed Renjiro, and Yohane was quickly growing tired of it. She took flight, looking down at the angels strolling beneath her. They looked like ants from where she was, and she pretended to crush some between her fingers. For some reason, that made her feel a lot better.

 

During her flight, she circled back and forth between her neighborhood and the one next to it, but she soon got bored of the scenery and the dull familiarity, so she extended her boundaries, eventually flying past shopping centers and many other living areas. She came to what she always assumed to be nothing but dense brush and forestry, but she was surprised to see what looked like a long line of angels protruding from the trees. Deciding that she had nothing better to do, she shot downwards towards the end of the line, landing right behind the last person. The angel in front of her turned around, obviously surprised by who he saw, but then quickly turned back.

 

Yohane tapped his shoulder as the line moved forward. “What’s this line for?” She said, her voice low.

 

The angel, an older man, said, “It leads to the Pools of Truth within the forest. People are allowed ten minutes with a pool for a small fee, so that they can look down on Earth.”

 

“‘Pools of Truth’,” Yohane parroted. She checked her pockets and found a couple of gold coins, most likely enough to pay the fee. Her mission was clear. Even though it would probably hurt her to see, she wanted so desperately to look upon her lost love. Renjiro was still a baby, but just being able to see her would be phenomenal. “Excuse me. Can you look anywhere you want?”

 

“Yes, yes,” the man said, quite obviously annoyed. She wondered what all these people wanted with such a thing. Did they also want to see people that had been banished from the heavens? Were they just nosy, and wanted ten minutes to snoop on some mortals? Yohane shifted her stance and looked around as the line slowly moved ahead. She was scared of what she would see. What if Renjiro was  _ happy _ down there? What if she had already moved on, what if-

 

_ Relax, Yohane, _ she thought, taking deep breaths as the man in front of her moved in.  _ She’s just a baby. She’s not doing much but crying and pooping right now. _

 

However, that didn’t ease the anxiety she was feeling. She scuffled forward, and the angel who worked at the forest took her coins and led her to what looked like a little crater filled with water. The water was blue and sparkling, and Yohane felt the urge to run her fingers over it. “Think about what you want to see, then run your hands through the water and it should appear once the water stills. Ten minutes.”

 

The angel bowed and disappeared through the brush, and Yohane crouched by the water. She couldn’t see her reflection in it, probably caused by its magical properties. Shutting her eyes tight, Yohane pictured every second that she had spent with Renjiro, lowering her hand and slowly swishing it through the water. Just as tears were starting to form in her eyes from bringing up all those painful memories, an image appeared in the water. Yohane leaned in, gasping in disbelief. It was...a crib. Inside was a little bundle with a head of wispy dark red hairs sticking out, wailing endlessly. The sun was coming in through the window and casting a shadow on her from the bars of the crib. A tired woman with similarly colored hair shuffled in, obviously tired. A black-haired man came in after her, an irritated look on his face. 

 

_ “Is it normal for a baby to cry this much? Maybe we should call the doctor and ask,” _ the man suggested, presumably Renjiro’s father.

 

The woman shook her head. _ “She’s probably just still getting adjusted to the crib. Maybe we should let her sleep with us again?” _

 

_ “She screams in there too. She won’t take the nipple, she barely drinks from a bottle...I really think there’s something wrong.” _

 

The mother picked Renjiro up and began to walk around the room with her, bouncing her on her shoulder.  _ “Shh, shh, it’s okay...” _

 

Renjiro kept bawling. Yohane watched the scene with a slight amount of pride, knowing that Renjiro was crying for her. Anybody could look upon the scene and know that Renjiro’s turmoil was caused by something far more than some random minor issue. That was the cry of someone who was suffering inside, the sound of someone who was trapped. Yohane watched, but eventually left the pools early, unable to handle the screams for that long. She left the forest reinvigorated. She wasn’t the only one suffering. She wasn’t exactly happy to see Renjiro so upset, but it gave her a new perspective, a new way of thinking.  _ I have to find a way...not just for me, but for both of us. _

 

Yohane took flight, considering her choices. She wasn’t sure what happened if angels  _ did _ somehow die. If she were to go into their apartment and take a knife to her stomach, would she be reborn on Earth, or would she just perish? What if she just found the lowest point in Heaven and darted downwards?  _ Or maybe...maybe I have to get down there the same way Renjiro did. But how can I anger the gods like that? _

 

Her wings grew sore from prolonged flight, so she fluttered back home and sat on her doorstep. Renjiro hadn’t done anything wrong, so it wasn’t like Yohane had a model to work off of. She had never heard of any other angels who had been banished to Earth. Then, it struck her: she made the gods angry before by being happy, a bit arrogant about her beauty. They  _ had _ left her alone since Renjiro had been banished. Maybe if she went back to being her happy self, they’d give her the same punishment as Renjiro. It was a bit of a reach, but it was the only plan she had.

 

Inhaling, Yohane flapped her wings stiffly with a newfound determination. Renjiro was waiting for her. She  _ had _ to do something. The first thing she could think about was regaining her old following. After losing Renjiro, she became hated by many; that was something she had to repair. She strolled along the sidewalk to her decided destination, making it a point to grin and wave at everyone she knew, and everyone she didn’t. Some people averted their eyes, others gave her a quick, uncomfortable nod, but it was a start. 

Her walk brought her to the arcade, where her fans used to be plenty. When she walked in, the cool feel of the AC beneath her feathers and the flashing neon lights of video games was like a kiss on the cheek from Renjiro when she came home. She looked around and saw a lot of familiar faces, most of them eyeing her suspiciously. She nodded and went to her favorite machine,  _ Star Shooter 3. _ The kids who were playing stepped away when she walked up, trying to look away and act like she wasn’t there. Yohane huffed and inserted a coin, then began to play. At first, nobody paid her any attention, but as she continued to insert coin after coin, she eventually gathered a crowd.

 

A couple of people had beaten her high score on the machine, but that was no big issue. She cleared out all five spots on the high score board, then turned around to meet applause from almost everyone in the arcade. Most of them were kids or teens, but those were her friends at the arcade. Once again, she got that feeling of “home”, listening to the chatty clamor of her underlings.

 

“Yohane-sama, Yohane-sama, how’d you do it?”

 

“Teach me how to play better, nee-san! I wanna beat your score!”

 

“No way,  _ I _ can beat it first! Just show me how...”

 

“That’s enough,” Yohane declared. Her voice was shaky, but everyone went quiet immediately. She inhaled deeply, trying to get back into that persona, that cool, admirable aura that she used to exude so naturally. At that moment, it felt clunky, plastic, but it was what she needed. “This game...is  _ far _ too amateur for a pro like me. In fact, I find myself rather  _ bored _ with it! What other games have you fools beat my score in, in my absence? Looks like I’ll have to baptize this place all over again.”

 

For hours, she was dragged to multiple different machines that random normies had beat her score on. However, they had only beat her by a couple of points most of the time, and when Yohane made the score board, she hadn’t even been trying! It was effortless.

 

By the time she was finished, the awkward atmosphere that she had encountered when she first walked in was gone. Kids were iffy like that; all it took was a couple of cool poses and some video games to get them back to nipping at her heels.

 

However, her day at the arcade ended swiftly when she tripped on her way to the next machine, hitting her head on the corner of another on the way down. It wasn’t too bad, but it was still painful. She groaned and got up, and noticed that her following was quickly crowding around her with water and ice-cold drinks.

 

“Here, nee-san, put this to your forehead,” said a younger boy, trying to stretch his little arm up as far as it could go.

 

“Nah, I’m fine. I need to get going, anyway. You guys practice hard, okay? I’ll be back soon, and  _ maybe _ I’ll be so decent as to let one of you play co-op mode with me in  _ Monkey Racers _ or something.”

 

The off-handed tone, the cool wink; it drove them crazy. She walked away from the arcade with her head high, although sore. Those kids would probably go home and tell their parents that she had came to the arcade, and that would probably begin the recovery of her reputation with the adult crowd. 

 

As Yohane was walking home, clutching her head, she started plotting her next move. For a while, she was worried that her plan wouldn’t work, but it was obvious that the gods had been watching her closely, and that her fall in the arcade was the beginning of the end. On the way home, she met with a lot more obstacles; minor, but abundant. A bird pooped on her head, a baseball got chucked at her side, she tripped more times than she could count, and it started raining buckets before she got into the house. Each inconvenience was another victory. 

 

_ Don’t you worry, gods: I hear you loud and clear, _ Yohane thought (with only a trace of bitterness) as she fished out her keys. _ It doesn’t matter what you do to me now. I’m winning...and soon, I’ll be the newest fallen angel! _

 

She kind of liked that terminology...”fallen angel”. After taking a shower, Yohane looked in the mirror for the first time in what seemed like forever. There were bags under her eyes, and she looked exhausted, but there was an undeniable sense of accomplishment on her face. She glanced down at the counter of the sink, then lifted the dark red feather that Renjiro had left behind. It was soft and ticklish in her hand. She looked back in the mirror, then lifted the feather and stuck it in her bun. It looked odd at first, but she stared at it, and found herself falling in love with the look.  _ It looks...different. Rebellious. That’s the trademark of a fallen angel, then, isn’t it? _

 

Yohane smiled and felt the feather within her fingers, then took it out. That was the only feather she had that was Renjiro’s, and it was too precious to leave out like that. Instead, she plucked her own, then put that in her bun. It matched her hair, anyway. She left that in, then crawled into bed, sleeping soundly for the first time in weeks, dreaming sweet dreams of her and Renjiro.

 

She woke up feeling well-rested for once, but she had no time to dwell on her success the day before. There were still many reparations to be made. She even put on some makeup in the mirror as she got dressed, hoping to seem at least a little bit alive. Just like the day before, Yohane took to the skies, but that time, she landed in a different residential area. It was early afternoon, so children were already playing on the sidewalks, trying to see who could stretch their wings out the most or who could fly the fastest. Yohane breathed out a sigh through her teeth, then laid her eyes on one of the houses: her first target.

 

Surprisingly, it went well. The owner of the house was a frail old woman, someone who Yohane loved to help with gardening and cooking before Renjiro had been banished. She had sat Yohane down for tea, and they chatted for a little bit. Admittedly, Yohane was a little manipulative in her ways, trying to make herself seem as pitiable as possible.

 

The thing was, it worked. All day, Yohane went tirelessly from house to house, rebuilding friendships and garnering the sympathy of all her old friends. Was it the awestruck glory she had before? No, of course not. Being  _ pitied _ was far from being  _ admired. _ If she was honest, the idea made her sick. But it didn’t even matter. People were starting to love her again, no matter the reason, and that was the important thing. 

 

That night, Yohane sprained her ankle. The next day, when she went out on even more outings, she got home and vomited non-stop for what seemed like an eternity. The day after that, when she went back to the arcade, her wings were so sore and weak that she couldn’t even flap them. The days progressed like that, with some of them being so painful that she couldn’t even think about leaving the house; however, even those days brought her more victory. People sent flowers, chocolates, cards, balloons,  _ anything _ to make those wretched days some sunshine. As much as Yohane appreciated it, she didn’t need it. Knowing that her suffering was bringing her closer to Renjiro was enough for her.

 

A year passed, with almost every day spent reforging bonds with peers. Some days were spent debilitated, while others were spent going to the pools to look down on Earth again. Renjiro was getting bigger every time Yohane saw her, although no less somber. She had stopped crying, but her parents still thought her aloof; once, Yohane even witnessed her at the doctor’s office, her parents worriedly asking what ailment she was doomed to live with. However, nothing could be said. Yohane had also learned Renjiro’s human name: “Riko Sakurauchi”. It was hideous, in Yohane’s opinion, but Renjiro wore it well.

 

After that year passed, though, one day, Yohane woke up with nothing wrong. That was a startling surprise to her, certainly. Had the gods truly given up on breaking her spirits? “That means this all would have been for nothing,” Yohane explained, staring into the creases and veins of Renjiro’s feather. Yohane was still in the bed, and the golden rays of the rising sun made Renjiro’s feather shimmer despite its darkness. “Hm...what could it mean?”

 

Cautious, Yohane stayed inside that day. She cleaned up a bit, wondering if the day would come where she’d never see their apartment again. Finally, her answer came, through a knock at the door. Yohane rushed to answer it, assuming it was one of her peers coming to check on her. However, it was a stone-faced messenger of the gods, holding a scroll. “For Yohane,” he said, thrusting it towards her. She took it with a grin on her face; the messenger seemed to be a bit surprised, considering the fact that correspondence from the gods was never good. 

 

“Thank you kindly,” Yohane said, slamming the door shut and plopping on the couch. At first, the furniture of the apartment seemed to be haunted, with the ghost of Renjiro tainting every inch. Yohane was too excited to care! The moment she unraveled the scroll, she knew what it was. Reading it only confirmed her thoughts: it was a notification of banishment. Funnily enough, the gods had only given her  _ one _ day as opposed to Renjiro’s two. “Come on. Just take me now!”

 

Despite her excitement, Yohane knew she couldn’t neglect the few duties she had. It seemed like she was just patching things up with the other angels when she had to go; that was planned, but of course, the other angels didn’t know that. Her last day was spent saying goodbyes, faking tears and making sure she was left with no regrets. She gave away a lot of the things in her and Renjiro’s house, including clothes and a lot of their furniture (although she left the bed so she could get a couple hours of shut-eye before the servant came to take her away). Renjiro would have called such a thing frivolous, but Yohane really had nothing to lose. She was truly happy, for the first time in that whole year.

 

That night, mere hours before her banishment, Yohane laid in their bed, staring at a framed picture of her and Renjiro with a smile on her face. “Ren-chan, we were so silly,” she mumbled. “Acting like we’d never see each other again...we both should have known I’d find a way. I always do, don’t I?”

 

Of course, there was still a lot more to consider. What were the odds that her life on Earth would be spent near Renjiro? Not only that, but she had many years to live on Earth before they even had the slimmest chance of being reunited. But, she couldn’t lose hope. For those last couple of hours, she laid in bed, tossing and turning and dreaming of her and Renjiro’s new life together...even if they had been turned into puny mortals.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long. i was on my lunch break :)

Once upon a time, there was a very frustrated teenage girl. For as long as she could remember, the world was a beacon of pain. Nothing ever seemed right to her. The ground beneath her feet, the loud voices of her peers, the clothes on her back...everything filled her with overwhelming anxiety, threatening to swallow her. This girl’s name was Riko Sakurauchi, but somehow, even  _ that _ didn’t seem right on her.

 

Her days were filled with monotony and struggle, despite its outward appeal. She woke up early every morning to boil eggs. Right after breakfast, she had to take her pills, which her parents were adamant about. Riko took them gladly, because they were  _ supposed _ to fix whatever was wrong with the worldーor, rather, fix it in Riko’s view. They never helped, but Riko took them anyway. No matter how many she took, she always felt like she was  _ missing _ something. After her medicine, she went to school, only finding comfort in doodling in the margins of her paper and composing pretty songs in her head. Then she went home and talked her way through her parents’ rapid-fire questioning, ate her dinner boredly, did homework if she had any, bathed, and went to bed.

 

Except, one night, her parents’ rapid-fire questioning was replaced with an announcement: they were moving away from Tokyo, to a little town by the beach.

 

Riko couldn’t have been happier. Perhaps that was what she needed, to get away from the loud hustle and bustle of Tokyo. As soon as school let out, they packed up and moved away, her parents nervously hopeful about her new school. Uranohoshi, it was called. At first, Riko felt that sense of doom lingering. 

 

But then, she met Chika Takami.

 

Riko had thought  _ she _ was weird, but Chika took the cake. She was the good kind of weird, though, the kind of weird that made Riko  _ forget. _ Somehow, the pain never went away, but Chika was a lovely distraction. And Chika had ideas. Ideas that made Riko’s head spin, with happiness, and confusion, and excitement, and all of the things that she had never had the energy to feel before. One of those ideas was to form a school idol group. The school was closing down, Chika said; Riko really didn’t care. After all, she had just gotten there. But she wanted to do something with Chika. She wanted to stay close to her. For once, she had found something that gave her true happiness, and she was loathe to let it go. Together, on the beach, Riko and Chika confessed their love for each other, and they began to date.

 

Riko’s monotonous schedule was interrupted, soon enough, as Aqours began to grow. They all loved her, it seemed; the disappointment on their faces when they learned about her recital warmed her heart just as much as it killed her inside. There was Kanan, stubborn, but loving; Dia, stern and impressively determined; Mari, fun-loving and sweet; You, exuberant and refreshing; Ruby, cute and utterly hard not to love; Hanamaru, kind and relaxing; and Yoshiko.

 

...Yoshiko.

 

Whether she meant to or not, Yoshiko...put a dent in the happy days of Aqours for Riko. Not too long after Chika and Riko began their relationship and Aqours became a group of nine, Riko noticed that Yoshiko’s peculiarities extended far beyond her fallen angel schtick. They never got time to speak alone, but they didn’t need to. Yoshiko’s eyes were always on Riko, and Riko always felt Yoshiko’s eyes on her. Between them, there was some silent bond formed, but Riko had no idea what it meant.

 

One day, finally, Yoshiko approached Riko. All on her own, on a weekend, Yoshiko knocked on Riko’s door, in full fallen angel garb. Riko was glad that her mother wasn’t the one who answered... “Ah, Y-Yoshiko-chan-”

 

“Are your parents home?”

 

Riko blinked. Yeah, Yoshiko was pretty weird, but who the hell  _ asks _ that? “Uh, no...?”

 

Yoshiko furrowed her brow. “Then...Chika-chan is here.”

 

“No. It’s really just me.” Riko waited to feel the crippling anxiety that came with almost every social interaction, but for some reason, she could only feel confusion...although, that brought its fair share of discomfort, too. 

 

What happened next only brought  _ more _ confusion. Yoshiko let out a little sob, of happiness, it seemed, then fell into Riko’s arms, embracing her tight. Riko choked out a gasp, her body stiffening. “Oh, Ren-chan! It’s okay now! We don’t have to hide anything from anyone anymore. It’s just us, okay? I know, I made you wait, but I had to make sure the time was right-”

 

“H-huh?! Yoshiko-chan, what the hell is your problem?!” Riko wriggled out of Yoshiko’s grasp, which earned her a stiff frown.

 

“Are you serious? A decade and a half since I’ve gotten to be with you, and you’re playing games?! Knock it off, Ren-chan!”

 

“I don’t know who that is! Listen, if this is a part of your stupid fallen angel game, go play it with somebody else,” Riko spat, taking a step back. Yoshiko took a step forward, and another, and another.

 

“You have to remember,” Yoshiko insisted. The sobs of joy seemed to be turning into those of sadness. Riko kept backing up, until she felt her butt hit the wall of the living room. Yoshiko came closer, pressing herself right up against Riko. Riko’s heart was racing as she looked into Yoshiko’s magenta eyes.  _ What is she doing to me? What is this? What is this? _ “It’s you. I know it is, Ren-chan, it’s you!”

 

Riko swallowed thickly. Why couldn’t she breathe? “No. I’m Riko,” she said. But why didn’t she believe it? Riko was frightened. Just as it seemed like that feeling of dread was disappearing, something else was replacing it...but Riko didn’t hate it. 

 

“There’s no way,” Yoshiko whispered. Yoshiko smelled sweet, so sweet, and Riko was thinking about the shape of her lips even though she knew she shouldn’t, but she couldn’t  _ stop _ thinking about them when Yoshiko was getting on her tiptoes andー

 

It was all moving too fast. Their lips met, and their tongues were sliding against each other, and it was all too fast, but Riko didn’t want to stop. Something about the way Yoshiko slid into her arms was so natural; Riko found herself embracing Yoshiko without even thinking. Kissing Chika had never felt like that before. Kissing Chika felt like a chore, something that Riko was  _ supposed _ to do, but kissing Yoshiko was different. It almost felt like a pattern, like something Riko had done a million times but hadn’t gotten tired of.

 

When they pulled away, Riko had her brow furrowed, confused and...and what? Wanting? Lustful? She didn’t know. Yoshiko said, “Remember, Ren-chan? You fell...and I knew I had to fall with you. Now, I’m here. I’ve been searching for so many years, and you fell right into my hands. So much for bad luck!”

 

“I don’t-I don’t understand,” Riko said. 

 

However, Yoshiko was delirious, going for Riko’s neck. She planted tiny kisses on Riko’s skin, still whining, “You have to remember!”

 

Riko  _ didn’t _ remember. In fact, she didn’t know if she wanted to remember, or if she even cared. Yoshiko felt good, and when her hand started roaming into dangerous territory, Riko arched into her touch. Yoshiko’s smooth, cool hand was slipping beneath Riko’s shirt, groping her braless chest, swallowing her surprised whimper with a kiss. Riko felt like she was dreaming, almost, with how dizzy Yoshiko made her.

 

“Y-Yoshiko,” Riko whispered, her own voice sounding foreign to her. Everything felt so odd, and so new; that kind of thing usually brought her so much fear, but that time, all she felt was some sort of  _ ascendance. _ “Yoshiko, please...!”

 

“No. Call me Yohane. Say it like you used to. I mean it!”

 

Riko tensed up. Yoshiko must have felt it, because she pulled back, her hand withdrawing from Riko’s shirt. “I don’t know if this is the right thing to do,” Riko breathed. Chika, Yoshiko’s stupid fallen angel storyline,  _ everything _ be damnedーRiko was afraid. The feelings Yoshiko gave her were too familiar in a way that Riko knew they shouldn’t have been. 

 

“Why wouldn’t it be right? Why can’t you remember me? Y-you’ve felt it too, right? You’ve been lonely without me, right?!”

 

“I don’t know what-”

 

“You have to,” she insisted, moving even closer. Riko didn’t want to move away, but at the same time, Yoshiko was quickly overwhelming her. Yoshiko’s tone was desperate by then, with tears running freely down her face. “All these years, I-I’ve been waiting for you. There’s no way you can leave me now. Haven’t you felt like something was missing? Because  _ I’ve _ been missing you!”

 

That shocked Riko to her very core. That was exactly how life felt, like something was missing, like that one missing piece was driving her insane. How could Yoshiko describe what Riko had been suffering from her whole life, just like that? Riko wanted Yoshiko to stay, but her fear took over. “You need to leave. Now.”

 

Yoshiko seemed utterly crushed by Riko’s words, almost folding into herself. “So, you...you don’t feel it, then. You don’t remember, and-and all of this suffering has been...for nothing.” Riko felt her heart twist. Yoshiko was her friend, but they hardly knew each other, right? So why did Riko feel such pain at Yoshiko’s disappointed expression? “...Okay. I’m sorry for bothering you, Ren...Riko. Sorry, I guess.”

 

Yoshiko left as quickly as she came, shutting the door behind her. Riko tried to still her beating heart. She knew that pushing Yoshiko away was the right thing to do, under all of the circumstances...

 

Nothing could explain why she felt so empty.

 

Forlorn and confused, Riko sulked around the house for the rest of the day. Over and over, she tried to think about the situation and come to some understanding with herself, but it never came. Then, when she went to sleep, she had a dream.

 

She was in what seemed to be an ice cream shop. There were people crowded all around her, faces sympathetic, but loving. They all looked oddly familiar, almost frighteningly so, but there was one face that stood out among the crowd: Yoshiko’s. However, there was something different. Yoshiko, among everybody else, had wings sprouted from her back, navy blue like her hair. Riko reached up to touch it, and Yoshiko giggled impulsively before her face twisted into a pout. “Hey, knock it off! You know I’m sensitive there, Ren-chan! Jeez...c’mon, are you done saying hello, now? I want to go find the fountain,” she said, then grabbed Riko’s hand. The people faded from view, and then it was just them, in the emptiness of the parlor.

 

They walked down a long, stark white hallway, with Yoshiko letting go of Riko’s hand to run ahead. Riko didn’t know if the fountain was down that hallway at all. She felt danger lurking up ahead. “Don’t go too fast,” said Riko, but Yoshiko kept running; the fountain was in sight, made of chocolate and so grandiose that Riko easily could have mistaken it for a waterfall. Riko was losing sight of Yoshiko, then, and she was becoming no more than a dot in the distance. Riko tried to run, too, tried to catch up, but Yoshiko did nothing but grow smaller in her vision. _ Come back, come back, come back, _ she thought, fear grabbing hold of her.

 

That night, Riko hardly got any rest at all, but the dreams didn’t stop. For the next few weeks, Riko was unable to close her eyes without getting a dire glimpse of whatever fantasy world she had fabricated. To make things worse, every night, the dreams got more depressing and left heavier feelings of loss. They had become nightmares. Some nights, Yoshiko disappeared; others, Riko herself felt her body deteriorating while Yoshiko simply looked on. One night, Riko watched her skin peel away to reveal the bones of her body, and Yoshiko stood at the stove flipping pancakes. Riko tried to cry out, but then her jaw fell from her skull.

 

Riko’s anxiety was only made worse. Somehow, the dreams where she herself was fading away weren’t as bad, but seeing Yoshiko disappearing from her vision made her wake up nauseous. Riko shut herself out for weeks. Sure, she had to continue on in life, going to school and lying to her parents daily about her happiness, but everything filled her with terror. The only time she felt safe was when she was laying eyes on Yoshiko.

 

Chika approached her, about a month after the dreams started. Riko was wondering when the obvious problems she was having would become obvious to Chika, who took a little longer to catch on to things. They were on their lunch break, which they didn’t share with Yoshiko. Riko didn’t know if that was a blessing or a curse. What had Yoshiko done to her?

 

“Is everything alright, Riko-chan?”

 

Chika sounded nervous. That was rare. Riko looked up at her, trying to feel her out and decide what to say. But there was something that repulsed her in Chika’s eyes. Something that didn’t feel right. Chika leaned in when Riko’s stare got even more intense, and Riko looked down at her feet. “I think we should break up.”

* * *

Riko didn’t know what came next. It felt like Chika was the only tie that Riko had to Earth, and Riko had severed it. So what came next, when she had nothing left? Her parents remained oblivious to her plight, assuming that it was nothing but the same cloud of anxiety that Riko had always had. But it was something else. Riko didn’t feel the same panic that was “normal” for her. Instead, it was a feeling of desperation, like she was trapped in a box and the thing that she so badly needed was  _ right outside of it. _

 

So, she called Yoshiko over to her house. Anything to soothe the restlessness she had been feeling. As soon as the door opened, once again, Yoshiko cut straight to the point, not bothering to greet Riko. “You remember me, don’t you, little demon?”

 

“I see you every day. Of course I remember you.”

 

Yoshiko’s face sank. “You don’t. So, why did you call me over here? The great Yohane has better things to do then prance around the homes of people who don’t want me around.”

 

“Because I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I don’t know what you did to me,” Riko said. She tried to sound aggressive, but she knew she only came across as terrified. She wasn’t sure why she had called Yoshiko, other than the fact that only keeping Yoshiko in her sight made her feel sane. “I’ve been dreaming...about you.”

 

“And? I’ve been dreaming about you, too,” Yoshiko said. She sounded abnormally excited. She came in, no invitation required, and shut the door behind her. 

 

“I don’t care,” Riko cried out. “I just want you to get out of my life, and get out of my head! At least...at least before, when things were so horrible, I was used to it, but this is new. There’s something going on with me that I know even less about, and-and my medicine doesn’t even help it-”

 

“Of course your medicine doesn’t help it. You don’t belong here with humans, Renjiro. Neither do I. We belong somewhere else.”

 

What was she saying? And why did it make so much sense? Riko wasn’t sure whether to feel at peace or threatened. Her uneasiness tugged her in two different directions as Yoshiko stepped closer to her. Mechanically, but instinctively, Riko wrapped her arms around Yoshiko as soon as she was within reach. Yoshiko fit in her arms like she belonged. The nightmares of Yoshiko disappearing from Riko’s grasp fell away from her.

 

God, was that what  _ serenity _ felt like?

 

“Where should we be? I don’t get it,” Riko said. “And who’s Renjiro?”

 

“It’s you.” That left Riko’s first question unanswered. Really, the second one might as well have been unanswered, too. “You don’t remember any of it? Me, and you, together...and everybody loved us. We were the stars of Heaven.”

 

_ Heaven? _ Riko felt dizzy. Had she been in a more stable state of mind, she might have chalked Yoshiko’s words up to her fallen angel scenarios, but everything felt like it was falling into place. The dreams she had had of her and Yoshiko sprouting wings and flying off (albeit into the sun) were suddenly making sense. What if Yoshiko  _ wasn’t _ just making jokes? What if Riko  _ was _ supposed to be in the heavens, wrapping her wings around Yoshiko and pulling her close? What if she  _ wasn’t _ Riko Sakurauchi, but instead Renjiro, an angel who couldn’t find her way home?

 

The unsettling feeling in Riko’s gut swelled, then faded. Yoshiko was bringing her calm. Yoshiko was making her feel at home, like she had regained something that she had lost. But what was lost?

 

The nightmares subsided when Riko began to let Yoshiko into her life. They weren’t as gory, weren’t as violent and paranoia-induced. Instead, Riko had dreams of golden gates and glowing lights, beckoning her. At their most vague, the dreams entailed Riko walking down a long, bright hallway with Yoshiko too far ahead of her. At their most vivid, Riko was laying next to Yoshiko in a familiar bedroom, gazing into her eyes and caressing the feathers of her navy wings.

 

The dreams continued, night after night. Yoshiko was still oh-so cryptic when she spoke to Riko, but she was happy. Yoshiko told tales of walking on clouds and flying high above the trees, her and Riko—or, Renjiro, as Yohane insisted. Riko was caught up in the stories that Yoshiko told. They made the world a little more tolerable. The doodles in Riko’s margins went from music notes to pairs of wings, colored burgundy and blue with her pens. She found inspiration to draw again, a habit that she had abandoned long ago due to crippling anxiety. Yoshiko would sit next to her as she painted, but as time went on, Riko didn’t have to listen to Yoshiko’s description of Heaven to draw it. It came naturally.

 

As if she’d been there before.

 

“I knew we were inseparable,” Yohane said. Riko had found her tone almost delusional at first, but Riko nodded as she spoke, listening intently. “It doesn’t matter what the gods do to me, Ren-chan. We can’t be kept apart. I wouldn’t let it happen.”

 

“Did I give up? When you left? That sounds just like me. To let things carry me along as if I don’t have a say.”

 

Riko wondered why Yohane remembered their days in the heavens so vividly, while Riko only had fragments and blurred memories. Did the gods want Yohane to live out her life on Earth craving Riko, while Riko didn’t remember her at all? The thought made Riko giddy, because they had beat them. No...Yohane had beat them. Riko had sat back and let herself be found. Riko wondered if it was like that in Heaven, too, with Riko running along after Yohane as Yohane did as she pleased. 

 

“You didn’t give up. You’re just too soft to fight back,” Yohane said. That was a nice way of saying that Riko gave up, but Riko would take it. She laid back on Riko’s bed, and Riko moved in close to her. If she closed her eyes and focused, she could feel the tickle of Yohane’s wings on her arm. “I’ll protect you, Ren-chan.”

 

“You can’t call me that around other people. They won’t understand.” Hell, Riko hardly understood. She hated Riko, but could she really live out the rest of her life as Renjiro when Renjiro was merely a figure of the past? “I’m sorry, Yohane. I-I’m not like you. I want to keep my past a secret. Nobody will understand, so I might as well keep it to myself.”

 

Yohane considered Riko’s words, then huffed. “But ‘Riko’ isn’t a name for a fallen angel like you...can I rename you?”

 

“As if I’m your pet.” Riko chuckled uneasily. Yohane gave her a serious look. “...Nothing too outlandish, okay?”

 

“Lily. It sounds just like your human name,” Yohane explained. “As subtle as can be.”

 

_ Lily... _ Riko mouthed it. Yohane saw her and smiled. Yohane had a different smile, then. Not cocky and arrogant like she smiled around other people...it was a happy smile, soft and genuine. Riko felt another memory come back to her: her and Yohane, laying in a bed just like they were, with Yohane smiling at her. In the memory, though, the smile was a little more sad. Riko waved it away. “I like it. That’s okay,” Riko said. “Maybe...I could call you something else around other people, too.”

 

“Anything but Yoshiko,” Yohane exclaimed. 

 

Riko frowned inwardly. That was her first idea, but she’d have to get a little more creative. “As long as we’re alone...call me Ren-chan,” Riko said, reassuringly. Riko had learned that Yohane initiating physical contact was rare, but she moved up to Riko’s side. Riko wondered if Yohane had done that same thing, with the same movements, glancing away shyly when Riko reeled her in. Would Riko ever remember the little things like that? “I wish we could go back to Heaven.”

 

“I don’t,” Yohane said, wryly. Her eyes glazed over a little, but she cleared her throat and seemed normal again. “Nothing but bad memories up there. We’re fallen angels now, Lily, thanks to the gods. We’ll live our lives on Earth, just like those bastards intended. As long as we have each other, it doesn’t matter where we are. We’ll show them all!”

 

That was perhaps more sinister than Riko would have liked, but the little grin on Yohane’s face couldn’t be denied. Riko twined her legs with Yohane’s, and Yohane’s face quickly straightened, her cheeks turning pink. “I can’t remember...all of the moments we were intimate,” Riko said, struggling to make herself voice something like that. “I can’t remember a lot, period. So we’re going to have to start from scratch.”

 

Brushing off her embarrassment, Yohane cupped Riko’s cheek. “And Yohane’s going to be there every step of the way.”

* * *

Once upon a time, there was an outwardly normal teenage couple. They were regarded as the most gorgeous, loving pair in all of the land. That, plus one of them being considered stunningly weird, made both of them quite popular. People called them Yoshiko and Riko, but not everything is as it seems.   
  
Riko was always asked if she felt embarrassed or in any way annoyed by Yoshiko’s overly-active imagination, but her answer was the same every time: she could feel nothing but lucky that Yoshiko could ever love someone plain like her.  Although Riko felt like she wasn’t interesting at all, Yoshiko always made sure to fight against anybody who called Riko plain, because even though the human eye couldn’t see it, they both had something special.


End file.
